Gettin' My Groove Back

Things are looking up for me, physically and emotionally.

I was at a really low place in the past few weeks. Physically I was worn out, and then emotionally I allowed myself to get really down. Part of it is the disease, another part is my reaction to the disease. Yet another factor, I realized, was that I was really worried about the mission going well. It wasn't consciously on my mind, but when I delved a little deeper as to my black mood, I found it festering there. Anxiety can be a bitch.

Saturday I had a conversation with myself (yeah, I'm probably nuts but whatever works, right?)

"The only thing I seem to do on a regular basis is go to work."

"Well, it takes energy to do that. How do you find that energy on most days?"

"I dunno. I just know I have to do it, so I put forth the effort and get there. I may not be terribly efficient on the bad days, but I usually get there."

"Well, can you apply that same thinking to other stuff you NEED to do, like physical conditioning? George can do housework or you can hire someone, but no one can do the exercise but you."

"I dunno."

"Well, why don't you try it?"


So I tried it. Saturday I used a wonderful DVD that I ordered from the Arthritis Foundation, Take Control With Exercise. It has range of motion, posture, core work, strengthening, and light aerobics. You can pick and choose the modules you want to do. I decided I would do the ROM part every day. That's what I need to do to keep my muscles from cramping and spasming. Then I'll see if I can add a few of the other modules day by day.

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday I exercised. I was tired afterwards, but at least I had a good reason to be tired! In the end, I remembered that it feels good to move my body, no matter how hard it is to get going. And, I felt powerful again.

Excuse me, I'm going to do my physical conditioning now. It doesn't matter whether I feel like doing it or not.

I'm just doing it.