The holidays are coming, and this year is different for me. This will be the first holiday season since my dad passed away, and we're trying to figure out the best way to get through it. Mom and I are determined not to make ourselves melancholy about it, so I think it will be OK.
Dad used to go along with holiday stuff to keep my mom happy, but he'd just as soon ignore the whole thing. George is the same way. So Mom and I have decided to just do what we feel like doing for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and not what we feel like we SHOULD do.
Thanksgiving weekend is going to be hard, because the day after Turkey Day is my birthday and would have been Mom and Dad's 44th wedding anniversary. Our aim is not to sit around the house looking at one another all day. Neither Mom or I like to shop and we can't stand crowds, so Black Friday at the malls holds no appeal for us. I think the three of us will hop in the car on Thanksgiving and head over to Louisiana to spend the night at a casino. Mom enjoys it, and it will be a change of scenery. I'll probably cook a turkey on Saturday or Sunday, just because I enjoy cooking (and eating) turkey and we usually have ham for Christmas.
We've been talking about starting a new family tradition of going to the movies on Christmas Day afternoon. Not having any kids here, Christmas just falls a little flat. I know lots of people who do the movie thing on Christmas afternoon, and Mom seemed to like the idea.
My main concern is helping Mom through this first holiday season without Dad. She is attending a series of workshops conducted by the Hospice folks on Coping with the Holidays. The previous 6-week grief workshop was really helpful to her, so I hope the holiday one helps as well.
I think the most important thing for Mom is to feel needed right now, and she is eager to help me with errands and housework as much as possible now that FM is taking a toll on my energy. We are both blessed: I don't have mountains of ironing piling up because she does it for me, and she knows that I need her. Good can come out of the strangest situations!
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2 comments:
Kathy your holiday plans sound peaceful. I admire your preplanning and ideas. I'm sure you will both miss your father this season, but being prepared for it will make it a bit smoother.
We've been going to the movies on Christmas day now for 3 years-- it's great. If you guys really want to skip the day, catch a three episode Lord of the Rings viewing! No LOTR this year, sadly, so we are wondering what will be available. The most important thing of all is to be together doing something fun and engrossing. Who said we have to have cookie cutter holidays?
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