It's official.
I have a disability.
My rheumatologist evaluated me this morning, and my mobility difficulties from Fibromyalgia and now worsening osteoarthritis qualify me as disabled.
Not that this label changes anything. Well, it qualifies me for disabled parking, which I do plan to use at work. Otherwise, the 1/2 mile walk from the parking lot, and then another 1/2 mile back out, wipes me out on most days. When your energy stores are limited, you want to not waste it on unnecessary pain and fatigue if you can help it.
But I've been quite disconcerted about the idea of myself as "disabled." Yes, I have pain to varying degrees all the time. Yes, the arthritis in my knees and left foot make me walk slowly and sometimes limp. Yes, if I stand in one place for very long, my body complains loudly.
I wonder, have I made my condition worse? I have to admit, since returning to school in August, I have let my self-care activities slide. I quit my aquatic therapy classes because they overlapped with my school schedule. I stopped doing my daily stretching exercises, only doing them when the pain got bad and I HAD to do them. My eating has gone all to hell, too, because I haven't been planning very well.
I've been thinking a lot this afternoon. What good will the new degree be, if I am physically unable to do my job - or any job?
It's time for me to re-institute some balance in my life.
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2 comments:
I remember when I was officially labeled disabled. It's rough, to accept and to realize and to internalize.
Good luck with it, and remember, that it helps you do more, it doesn't limit you.
Oh this is NOT fun news at all! I'm so sorry to read this!
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