Food Issues

As my dear Diva friends know, I have food issues. I have had them most of my life. The best thing about them is that they brought me to know a wonderful group of ladies via the Internet whom I now count among my dearest friends (hi Amanda, Beanie, Colleen, Katie, Keri, KathyC, Liz, and Trudi).

My gall bladder removal has given me new food issues. I was instructed not to eat anything spicy or high-fat for one month. I wasn't sure what the consequences would be - so I have been eating radically low-fat for the past few weeks.

On Saturday, I ate something that I knew was a little higher fat, but I didn't think it would be too bad. I spent the next few hours very close to the bathroom. Apparently, when you don't have a gall bladder to store the bile produced by your liver, the bile will go directly into your intestine where it aids digestion. When it senses fat in your intake, it dumps a lot of bile. Bile has a laxative effect. OK, I know that's TMI.

Now I have major food anxiety. Will I have to stick to eating plain broiled chicken, fish, rice and plain bland veggies for the rest of my life? One of the joys that my DH and I share is cooking (and eating) lovely and interesting recipes. And we eat out - a lot.

Also, my most tried-and-true method for coping with any anxiety, disappointment, boredom - hell, any emotion - is eating. Eating specific foods: ice cream, pizza, donuts, chocolate. I think I may be forced to give up this coping mechanism or take up permanent residence in my bathroom.

And, can I tell you how twisted my mind is? In pondering all this, one thought keeps coming back to me: "I could lose a lot of weight this way."

Damn, I'm one screwed up person.

I know I'll work through this, but it's a very weird place for me to be.