Disquietude

I'm feeling very unsettled today.

I'm back at work, after a nice weekend of stimulating the economy (my term for shopping), enjoying the beautiful weather, and completing household chores.

I'm much more affected by the events of Friday than I expected. I could not get to sleep Friday night; Saturday I slept well; but last night, anticipating coming back to work, I was extremely restless. Sleep is a key to my FM symptoms staying manageable, so when I don't sleep well it's a big deal in my life.

When I arrived at work today, everyone was pretty somber. It's very disquieting to have a co-worker killed, even if you didn't know him personally. All of our regular meetings were cancelled today. They were replaced by informational briefings and encouragement to take advantage of counseling sessions that are available.

Aside from having old memories and fears stirred up, I'm really worried about my mom. She seems to be in a fog of some sort. I don't know if it is depression, an effect of the anemia, her meds, or something else. She sees her doctor tomorrow, and I'm going to get some answers. She has always been very quick and sharp mentally, and recently she's forgetting things and sleeping a great deal.

If this continues, I need to convince her to move in with us permanently.

I feel as if I'm awash in a turbulent sea.