No word on the job opportunity that was brought to me on Friday. All the people involved are in a training class this week, so I guess that no news isn't bad news.
Just returned from an appointment with my doctor. Have I said before how much I love my doctor? She is the best. She agreed with my plan to work from home and wrote me a "permission slip" to give to Human Resources. That's the last step in the approval process for me to work at home 1-2 days per week.
In talking with her and sharing some of the observations that George has made, I realized that my depression has been gradually worsening over the past 6 weeks or so. It's been difficult for me to determine which symptoms are physical, from my fibromyalgia, and which ones are really emotional, from my depression. There are so many overlaps and inter-relationships. Why does it have to be so dang complicated?
I know I need to take charge of my well-being and there's lots of work to do associated with that. But I feel so overwhelmed by just daily life - it seems like I don't have the energy to take the baby steps I need to.
My doctor made a slight adjustment to my meds, and scolded me for not taking my muscle relaxant med every night (I didn't understand that I was supposed to). In addition to addressing my muscle spasms, apparently it is meant to help me sleep. Getting quality sleep is a very big issue for FM patients and not getting good rest aggravates the pain, fatigue, and most definitely my ability to cope emotionally. I have to get over my reluctance to take the meds I need.
She also mentioned that if these adjustments don't work over the next month, it might be time for me to see a psychiatrist. Yikes. I've been seeing a therapist off and on over the past few years, but have not consulted with a p-doc yet. The thought scares me.
I feel like running away sometimes, but I know I can't run away from myself. Sometimes I really wish I could at least take a vacation from me!
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1 comment:
Sometimes it must seem like one step forward and two steps back, dear. Hang in there. You are doing so much and taking so many huge steps to care for yourself. The seeming steps back are only baby steps. :) Big hugs to you. Hope you now get restful sleep with the nightly muscle relaxants and that whatever you need to do to care for you is helpful. I'm sorry you have to go through this but you are only getting stronger as a result.
Hope you get good news on the job front soon!
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