I have a new cause. I am going to start a fund-raising effort to research exactly what genetic mutation causes people to share the most horrible and graphic stories about different conditions when a person admits to having said condition. It's the same gene that compels women to share hideous labor stories with pregnant women. It must be stopped.
If someone tells me that their loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, I offer them hope by telling my mother's story - she's been cancer-free for 12 years after battling an aggressive form of breast cancer. I do NOT tell them that my dad died from cancer. If I can't offer words of hope, at least I offer words of encouragement.
Today I was enlightened about fibromyalgia by two people who I respect and used to think had pretty good common sense. Unfortunately, they suffer from that genetic mutation that I plan to campaign against.
First was my program manager. I had to get his signature on my flexiplace work plan. He is a kind man and signed right away. Then he felt compelled to tell me he knew a little about fibromyalgia because a former employee of his had it. This woman struggled for 2 years at work, lost her hearing (!) and eventually had to take a medical retirement. Geez, just what I want to hear, Boss! I told him that I am a fighter and am doing everything I can to make sure I don't wind up in a similar condition.
Later in the day, my condition came up in a conversation with 2 co-workers. (It may sound like I'm running around announcing my health conditions to everyone, but it really was pertinent to the conversation at hand). L says, "Oh, I know a lady who has that! It's disgusting!" You would have thought I said I had leprosy. "It's makes you tired all the time!" At first I was at a loss for words, then I said, "Tired, and lots of pain, but it's more frustrating than disgusting." Then I diverted the conversation in a less disgusting direction.
Why don't people share success stories? I'm looking for encouragement. I'm scared of being crippled or non-functional in the future. I don't need to be enlightened about how bad it can be - my research has been extensive and I'm fully aware of what can happen with FM. I'm also extremely grateful that I'm not one of the really bad cases. I don't plan to be one in the future, either, but it's not completely within my control. I'm doing everything I can to take care of myself to prevent an increase in symptoms.
Remember the old proverb,"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything"? We need to practice it a little more often. You may not think your little story is that bad, but the person you're sharing it with may have heard 20 more like it already. The cumulative effect is really disheartening, even to the strongest person.
Maybe I'll start a telethon to raise money to research this weird human quirk - or maybe a 12 step group for offenders. Oblivious Anonymous!
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3 comments:
Hee hee. In your fund raising, coul dyou put aside some money for identifying the gene that makes people tell you their cold remedies as soon as you tell them you are sick. I'm almost 42, people, I think we can assume I have heard about decongestants and vitamin C. But you know Kathy, I have this friend....
Yes, yes, yes! Please do start a fund-raising effort! There was nothing worse than listening to horrible labor stories while I was pregnant with Nicole. I think it's this weird quirk that keeps people from sharing personal health issues with others. I myself am like you, I'd rather research it myself, share it with a few intimate friends and face it from there. I also KNOW you are a fighter and the results of this attitude will bring positive results!
That was exactly the reason I always told what a breeze my labor and delivery was when I found out they were preggers. Because I knew they were hearing all of the horror stories. I'm so sorry you are putting up with all of these insensitive people. People suck! >:| Grrrr.
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