I went back to work yesterday for the first time since my little trip. When people see you with a cast on your arm, they seem to think that 1) you owe them a detailed explanation, even if you've never seen them before in your life; and 2) they must share their own most horrible tripping stories, in gory detail.
Since my own story was pretty pedestrian (ha ha - get it? pedestrian, I tripped while walking to my car?), I felt obliged to try out a few alternate explanations, mainly for my own amusement. My co-workers voted on the best, and even contributed a few of their own.
Number 5: Barroom brawl after a wet t-shirt contest gone awry. Although I could win any wet t-shirt contest with no problem, most folks recognized this as a fabrication because they know I have not visited a real bar in probably 15 years.
Number 4: George was really upset about the Astros poor playing and took it out on me. Not that physical abuse is a joking matter - but everyone knew this was a lie too. He just isn't into organized sports like baseball and football. Now, if I had broken one of his 32 favorite fishing reels....
Number 3: Injuries were incurred when I told the shrill-screaming harpy sitting behind us to shut the hell up or I'd do it for her. After first asking if any beer was consumed (it was), this one got a few votes as plausible.
Number 2: I tried to catch a foul ball barehanded, broke the bone in my hand and got smacked in the eye with the ball. This scenario was favored by casual acquaintances who don't know of my famed lack of eye-hand coordination and my diving under the seats if a foul ball comes anywhere near me.
And, the number 1 most-believable explanation amongst my closest friends and co-workers: I finally got fed up with my micro-managing snot of a boss and kicked his ass, thereby breaking my hand with repeated vigorous punches and blackening my eye when I head-butted his thick-headed little skull. You can imagine their explanations for the knee injury.
Actually, I like any of these stories better than the truth. I had hoped I finally outgrew my klutzy phase - but apparently I was wrong.
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2 comments:
ROFLMAO, Kathy! I too, love all of these explanations for your cast. Now you and George could stage some photos for us with him acting in the parts of the boys. Perhaps you could hire your mom as the part of the harpy... Hahahah!
Those explanations are hysterical!
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