Because I couldn't make shit like this up

Well, I could - but I would be accused of having a wild imagination. Which I definitely do not. At least, not lately.

You have no idea how happy I am that I am not writing "Here I am, blogging away from my hospital room...." Because that was the original version of this post.

It all started with an annoying little sore throat/laryngitis thing on Friday. No big deal, right? Yeah, but it's me we're talking about here.

I took Mom to her place Saturday to pick up a few things and mark a few furniture items for donation. I sweated uncontrollably, but I figured that her apartment was warm because we were conserving the A/C and I was a little under the weather. Saturday night I didn't sleep much - every time I tried to lay down, I started coughing.

I felt lousy yesterday, and was nothing but miserable last night. No sleep, no voice, coughing at the slightest provocation - and producing something resembling honey mustard salad dressing (fortunately, not one of my faves and probably not one of yours anymore either). I considered waking G during the night and asking for a ride to the ER but thought I was being overly dramatic. I did get in to see my doctor this morning at 10 am though.

Well, I spend a total of 3 hours at the doc's office. Exam, testing my oxygen levels (low), putting me on oxygen, breathing treatments, a wheelchair ride with oxygen tank in tow to get chest x-rays and a quart of blood from each arm (WTF?) for "blood cultures." Tears when doctor says I need to call G to come from work because i must be sent to the hospital. My very first ride as a patient in an ambulance. Realizing that the 2 ambulance guys looked like 13-year-olds playing hooky on the first day of school - especially when they drove 4 blocks to go to the hospital right across the street.

Another 4 hours in the emergency room. Wanting to scratch out the eyes of the hag who wouldn't give G a blanket for poor, pitiful shivering me, "because we don't want to cover her up when she has a fever, do we?" Patronizing bitch. Hell, yeah we do!!! Fortunately, G had a nice sun-warmed beach towel in the truck that he mummified me in and dared the hag to say something.

Since everyone had agreed that it was pneumonia and my need for oxygen meant I should be admitted to the hospital, I figured I couldn't fight it. But the ER doc took pity on me and said that heavy duty antibiotics and breathing treatments at home should be fine for treating this pneumonia.

That is, unless the blood cultures develop some new exotic strain of something-or-other-itis. That would at least justify the other 2 quarts of blood they took in the ER for other "blood cultures."

And they gave me dirty looks when my poor veins couldn't fill the last 2 jugs they needed to take, like I had failed them or something!

But I surely got lucky, because they could have kept me at the hospital.

Or, I could have gone on my original trip to FL today and become really ill out of state. Ewwww.

Now I just have to avoid coughing on my mom while she fusses over me.

This was not quite the leave of absence from work that I was contemplating earlier. Just for the record.

Wheeeeee! Wouldn't it just suck if life was boring? You'd know what to expect all the time! No thanks!